My friends are plotting against me!

I'd Sooner Kiss a Wookie

I was totally floored to see this in the recent Robot Chicken Star Wars Special 2. For all you kids who aren't old enough, or (*ahem*) cool enough to know, the nerds pictured here are playing Escape from the Death Star. Until now, I thought my close friends and I were the only ones priviledged enough to have played it.

Wait, did I say privledged?
I meant damned. Worse board game ever.


Maybe our dice were just weighted, but it seemed that no matter what you did, you inevitable wound up in the detention block/trash compactor at the center of the board, which you could only escape from with a perfect roll. We all spent most of the game stuck there. To this day, mention Escape from the Death Star to any of my friends who was there, and they break into a cold sweat, and go into full PTSD-mode.

Message from Our Alien Overlords

As frequent readers know, every Saturday we publish a new article in our Home & Lifestyle section of the blog. This week, frequent contributor Xltlksxxr has a few helpful tips for how to tidy up around the house.

Matriarch of Qtrrklr-7, and Freelance Contributor

PUNY HUMAN

LOOK AT YOU, WITH YOUR ENDO-SKELETON, AND SOFT FLESHINESS. WHERE IS YOUR RAZOR SHARP CARAPACE? YOUR ACID BILE SACS? YOUR INTERNAL DIGESTIVE SYSTEM IS PITIFUL

AS IS YOUR LACK OF EYESTALKS

THE FACT THAT THE POISON STINGER OF YOUR YOUNG CANNOT EVEN PIERCE THE THORAX OF A WYUGLIR BIRD IS PROOF THAT YOUR SPECIES IS DESTINED ONLY FOR SUBJUGATION

SOON YOU WILL BE OUR SLAVES

TREMBLE IN FEAR

Join us next week for the continuation of this article, including more tips on how to knit the perfect tea cozy.

Who Knew Billy G Was Funny?

Despite how much I hate Micro$oft and it's crappy, do-nothing software that hasn't changed significantly in 10 years, I have to admit that Gates is pretty funny in this.

"Pennsylvania has herpes"

from The Daily Show 4.23.2008:

Woman: The attention's been really flattering with the media being in Pennsylvania for the past month and a half.
Jason Jones: Yeah, it's like when a guy hits on you in a bar, takes you home, and then never calls you again. You're that girl.
Woman: Yeah.
Jones: And I'm that guy...  and now you have herpes.

Adultswim Videos

Wordpress won't let me embed the videos dammit:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force:
http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a25c392145e74420114604d869b0022
http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a25c39216e887be0116ea2f0139000a

Robot Chicken: Star Wars
http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a25c392132b05a201132b0f8750001c
http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a25c392132b05a201132b9e01d5006e

Adulterated Cookies

A friend was telling me yesterday that nowadays, in an effort to be more responsible, they've gone and bastardized the Sesame Street that we all grew up with. The worst case of this is that now Cookie Monster doesn't wolf down his favorite snack like he used to. Now he sings "Cookies are a Sometimes Food"

Sometimes is now!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4432415.stm

Tanuki

There's a famous children's song in Japan,

Tan-tan-tanuki no kintama wa
kaze mo nai no ni:
"bu-ra" "bu-ra"

It roughly translates to "Look at the tanuki's balls. There's no wind, but they're still swinging" (bu-ra is the sound it makes). This is really the only kids song I know in Japanese, but it's all I need!

Tanuki (Nyctereutes procyonoides), commonly translated as "racoon dog", is a canid with a build that resembles a Welsh corgie, and markings that resemble a badger or racoon. Their role in Japanese folklore is pretty similar to that of kitsune ("foxes") in that they are shape shifting tricksters.

For an excellent (though animated) look at them, I recommend Heisei Tanuki Gassen Pon Poko (or just "Pom Poko"), by Studio Ghibli.

There are tanuki statues everywhere in Japan. They're often outside of businesses/restaurants, as they are for luck I believe. Here are some of the ones I've captured.

Colbert Report's Better Know a Lobbyist Interview

from 02-06-08

Colbert: What is the HRC?
Joe Solmonese: The Human Rights Campaign
Colbert: I thought it was the Homosexual Rights campaign
Solmonese: No, "Human Rights Campaign"
Colbert: I thought you worked for homosexual rights.
Solmonese: We do, but HRC is the "Human Rights Campaign."
Colbert: Are you saying that only homosexuals are humans and that straight people aren't humans? That's what you're implying with that name.
Solmonese: No, we're implying that gay rights are human rights.
Colbert: Well, aren't some people more human than others?
Solmonese: No.
Colbert: I'm straight, I can make other humans. Doesn't that give me a leg up?
Solmonese: No. I'm gay, I can make other humans too.
Colbert: But you choose not to -- so you've chosen not to be human.
Solmonese: No, I've chosen not to make other humans.
Colbert: So, if I use birth control, you're saying that makes me gay?
Solmonese: <thinks for a moment> ... Good question.